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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?