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When reports emerged that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a possible suspect, it thrust substance use disorder back into the national conversation. However, families grappling with a child’s substance use are concerned the dialogue will center on an exceedingly rare act of homicide rather than the more widespread dangers of the disease.

A Personal Connection

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been watching the news. They only knew the Reiners by their work, yet they identify deeply: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to opioids and later illicit drugs, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehab and the legal system. After seven excruciating years, their son achieved sobriety in July 2010.

“It’s just heartbreaking,” states Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones didn’t survive the disease of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than a significant majority of Americans report their lives have been impacted by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a relative’s addiction, housing instability from addiction, or an overdose leading to hospitalization or death, according to 2023 data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or tens of millions of people, had a substance use disorder in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how rich you are, no matter how disadvantaged you are, no matter how powerful you are,” emphasized Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story resonated deeply with Greg, who leads a family support group. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a profound effect on others’ lives.”

However, he is worried that the murders will make people “deeply suspicious of anybody who’s struggles with having an addiction, and think that they could become violent at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg added.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so prevalent in the United States and the rates have consistently risen,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and the legal system. She pointed to the significant stigma surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “idea of someone being really dangerous and the potential for harming others.”

She also advised against making assumptions about the alleged role of the son or his state at the time, noting it is not known whether drugs or psychological distress were involved recently.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their stigmatization of addiction and substance use disorder, and create a narrative to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his past, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

The Reality of Risk

While addiction can lead to erratic actions, and some substances may lead to agitation, a violent crime like a double homicide is exceptionally rare.

“The huge majority of people with addiction or substance use disorder do not ever show anything even approaching to aggression. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The statistical truth is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

A Parent’s Fear

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not of their sons, but about them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to be lost at some point,” Greg said. “If he returns to using, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my greatest terror. And my other fear is just being estranged from him.” He described the agonizing decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “horribly painful” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you went to sleep, that you could get a phone call or that visit from authorities telling you that he was never coming home,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, every day of the year, for a parent.”

He recounted the terrifying calls: from the ER saying a son was unconscious; from jail, where a parent might rationalize behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he committed theft to support his habit; at least he wasn’t burglarizing the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle isolation—questioning whether the addiction was caused by some mistake they made; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and worrying about the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is extremely challenging to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can change on the spot. You could be perfectly happy one day and miserable the next... It’s not unusual for that to happen.”

Hope and Recovery

Data indicates about three in four people with addiction are able to achieve recovery.

“Just as you can recover from any other type of disease, you can overcome this disease, too. You can recover and be successful,” said Grover. “If you try and you stumble, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a university education, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can drag him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t grasp my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always told him they loved him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s supporting someone addicted to drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll take it and accept help.”